Midlife Women: Where Do We Fit In?

As a midlife and lifestyle blogger, as well as a life coach, I am often asked:

“Where should I be in my life at this point?” “Where Do I Fit In?”

Then over the weekend, I saw something on Facebook that added more inspiration to answering this question here on the blog.

It was a clip of Sally Field on The View promoting her new movie, Hello, my name is Doris.

I loved what she said about how we are always “coming of age”.

I remember seeing Sally Field for the first time in Smoky and The Bandit when I was just a kid.

Sally played Carrie, a runaway bride.

She has always played inspired, interesting roles that show the true diversity of women.

Today she is still inspiring women.

Midlife Women Where Do We Fit In

Midlife Women Are Amazing!

No matter our age, we are always reinventing ourselves.

We never “know it all” although the older we get the more collective knowledge and experience we have.

During midlife, we are in a unique place to share, shape and influence multiple generations.

We have young adult or adult kids, we have grandkids, significant others, parents, siblings, and friends.

Yet, still, many of us struggle for our own identity!

Sometimes we can lose ourselves in the lives of those around us.

Women in midlife Often Put Others Before Themselves.Click To Tweet

We are caretakers, collaborators, spouses, friends, mothers, daughters, and coworkers.

Some women are having children later in life.

I know a few women in their 40’s just starting their families.

Midlife Women Where Do We Fit In

We are finding ourselves in many different situations needing to shift, change, and accommodate others.

If there is one thing I must tell myself, daily, and tell my friends and clients, it is to keep pushing yourself!

Never stop being who you are at any given moment.

Do not hold back on your own needs, thoughts, or feelings.

Don’t forget yourself!

Living through intention can help but first, we need to identify that we deserve to place focus on ourselves.

How Midlife Women Can Embrace Every Stage To Come:

We need to understand that it is perfectly normal and okay to change.

Change is frightening for many of us.

Acceptance of others is often sought after.

One thing I have found interesting having raised children is that in the teen years is when we most desire to be accepted.

Yet, some teens, who feel they are not accepted go out of their way to be different.

Sometimes in how they dress, others in how they act, or some in how they relate to their peers.

There are many ways I have seen teens set themselves apart proclaiming their individuality.

Then we hit our twenties and we mostly move out of that stage.

We come to accept who we are and are more comfortable with the fact that we like tattoos, or that we desire a certain career.

In our thirties we are either chasing our career goals, raising families, running kids to little league, or whatever we have established for ourselves.

Then we hit midlife and find ourselves empty nesters, or have kids moving back home!

As midlife women, we are always evolving, moving toward that next stage.

Carrying with us the hard hits, life lessons, and knowledge we have gathered along the way.

Maybe you have seen on social media women proudly proclaiming their stretch marks as beautifully earned stripes.

I agree and am not ashamed of my stretch marks from bearing my children.

Yet we need more focus on those emotional stretch marks we have earned!

Every stage of life bears with it both extreme joys and extreme hardships.

Each joy is earned! Every hardship teaches us something important.

Either something we can use to help ourselves evolve, or help someone else evolve from.

I agree with what Sally said in the clip above, “what’s there for us that we could not have known if we had not gone through all of those other horrible stages”?

At first when I heard her say “horrible stages” I flinched just a little because I was not sure if I agreed that my stages had been horrible.

Upon reflection, there were many times in each stage of my life that horrible things happened to me.

That does not mean the entire stage was horrible, but certainly, each stage brought forth an onslaught of horrendous events here and there.

I am not sure we need to “fit in”.

In midlife as women what we need to do is accept and love who we are.Click To Tweet

We should embrace and enjoy the differences in the human species.

First, we have to accept our own differences from others.


The fact is, midlife women “fit in” anywhere and in any way we darn well please! 

We have time to keep growing and learning but we have collected a lot of wisdom and experience along the way.

Midlife is the best time of life! 


We need to self-identify so that we can have a base understanding of who we are at any given stage of life.

Setting up goals for what we want to move into toward the next stage is also a great plan.

That is why I am going to set an intention for myself which I will take action on.

This coming weekend I will make a vision board.

The board will have who I am right now and where I want to go.

My plans for ME in the next coming stage of my life.

Knowing who or where I am right now will help me reach the goals I have for myself in the next stage.

So this is a two-part vision board:

Where and who I am in the present.

and

What and who I want to become in the next stage of my life.

I will share my vision board with you in the coming week or two.

A Midlife Women’s Call To Action:

A Midlife Women's Call To Action:

I want to encourage you to do the same.

It would be wonderful if you created your own vision board!

I think this is a wonderful time of the year to do it.

Setting our goals for the coming year, working on self-awareness and paying homage to how far we have come.

I hope that you will make a vision board of your own.

Leave a comment on your current goals or goals for the coming year.

Or let me know how you feel about the stage of life you are in, no matter what age you are.

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24 Comments

  1. November 14, 2017 / 12:39 pm

    This post is absolutely beautiful and so well put. I never thought of this before, but as a woman who is just starting to have kids, it puts things into perspective. What will I be doing in life once I have reached that “midlife” stage? I agree – we can fit in anywhere!

    • November 15, 2017 / 3:09 am

      Thank you so very much Lisa! We can fit in anywhere and it’s all up to use to decide and determine where that is and what we want to go for in life.

  2. November 14, 2017 / 1:33 pm

    Yes, so much of this! I am almost fifty, and having some of these same issues. Life can be tricky at this age. Part of the time I feel older, and then part o the time younger. Starting have some serious battles with age though.

    • November 15, 2017 / 3:10 am

      So sorry that you are struggling with this Jenn. It can be really confusing. There are days for me as well I feel like I am in my 20’s and have to remind myself I am not lol other days I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed. I think the lack of consistency is the worst but overall we can do whatever we want at any age and ACT how we want as well. Paid our dues so to speak and it’s our time to shine. The older we get the more free reign I think we should have lol

  3. November 14, 2017 / 2:04 pm

    I love this post. I am not in my 40s yet and I’ve already started my family (my kids are 13 and 11), but I often think about my place in things. At their school, I am usually the youngest parent, or one of the younger parents, but 5-8 years. That’s difficult sometimes. Beautiful post.

    • November 15, 2017 / 3:14 am

      Thank you so much Leah. Just remember – no matter what your age, just be you. Don’t worry about the pressures of others. I remember those days – helping in my kids school, PTA and all that. Your kids ages are such fun times but also some of the hardest times. Remember to put yourself first now and then! Kids seem to respond better when their mom is happy.

  4. November 14, 2017 / 3:09 pm

    I’m approaching retirement age but I still feel middle-aged. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do: work for myself. I’m at home with my dogs and cat and can do outside work and housework whenever I want. I’m still working toward living through intention and getting better at it. I’m also discovering a side to myself I never knew existed. I’m exploring spirituality in depth. Having been a paranormal investigator for seven years, I already have an open minded belief system but I’m expanding on that. Thanks for this article and the advice!!

    • November 15, 2017 / 3:18 am

      Gisele it sounds like you are right on target and have been doing it right all along! Intention is tricky I agree, it’s something we have to continue to work at. I am so glad you are finding a new side to yourself and that is exactly the point -we are forever adjusting, changing, growing, it’s awesome! I love that you were a paranormal investigator. You know, we have a lot in common! We need to chat lol

  5. November 14, 2017 / 9:56 pm

    I’m not in my 40’s but this is great information for when I get there. I have young children now so by the time I’m in my 40’s they’ll be grown or at least almost out of the house. In my 40’s I’ll be exploring the world with my husband!

    • November 15, 2017 / 3:16 am

      Felicita that sounds lovely! Keeping those goals in mind is key! I am currently working on mine via a vision board I will be posting about very soon! Check back please.

  6. November 14, 2017 / 11:11 pm

    Change is always frightening for many of us. I have read an article just yesterday that states that we all have our own role to play in different life stages so we don’t need to worry about catching up fast. To fit in, we have to create our vision for ourselves and not compare it with others in the society.

    • November 15, 2017 / 3:16 am

      Exactly!! That sounds like an excellent article with great advice! I am working on a new vision board currently that I will be posting about soon so I hope you come back and check that out!

  7. Melanie
    November 15, 2017 / 7:03 am

    My mother-in-law is definitely struggling with this. After her husband passed away last year, I can tell that she is searching for a purpose. We have tried to encourage her and help her along but I think that she definitely needs more time to sort it out personally.

    • November 16, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Melanie I am so thankful she has a wonderful daughter-in-law like you who is recognizing this. I am sure you will be there for her when she needs you.

  8. November 15, 2017 / 9:40 am

    This really resonates with me as I feel like I’m in transition at the moment. I’m about to turn 36 so I’m not sure I quite count as a middle woman yet (??) but I’ve recently given up alcohol, started yoga and am looking at the world in a whole new light. I’m trying to focus on looking after MYSELF because I feel totally drained from demands of being a wife and mother of three. I can totally see ‘middle life’ being an exciting time because you have a little more freedom but you still have your health (hopefully anyway!). Great post 🙂

    • November 16, 2017 / 11:48 am

      Katherine it sounds like you are already ahead of the curve in being ready for midlife! I think it is great you have taken on a new perspective and are ready to embrace your “You time” when it comes!

  9. November 15, 2017 / 10:18 am

    I’m one of those who had kiddos in her 20s AND another kiddo in her late 30s. I am sitting here at the age of 41 feeling odd as a mother of a preschooler. I should be enjoying a cruise while my older kiddos start their adult lives. However, I do enjoy the little guy, so I will hold off on the empty nest years.

    • November 16, 2017 / 11:50 am

      Tami – we all do things in our own way and time. I think it is wonderful that you had a child later in life. You have more wisdom and experience now to impart on this one while your older kids had the benefit of a younger mom. There are wonderful things about both! Plus I bet your little one keeps you on your toes too!

  10. November 15, 2017 / 11:33 am

    This post is really interesting. I am almost 35. I can see where the midlife time in life can been full of questions. I see a number of women at my kids school that seem to be struggling with this.

    • November 16, 2017 / 12:01 pm

      It can be a challenge for sure as it is such a transitional time. We also tend to make it harder on ourselves by feeling we need to be all things to all people at all times. It’s learned behavior especially when we have had young kids for so long. It’s a wonderful time however to reclaim ourselves!

  11. November 15, 2017 / 3:02 pm

    Midlife is definitely a stage that takes time to embrace. I feel like it sort of crept up on me, so I struggled a bit with it. When I finally accepted the physical and emotional changes everything felt better!

    • November 16, 2017 / 12:26 pm

      So true, once we accept we can embrace! Midlife can sneak up on us too! One day you are 20 and being wild and free, the next day you are turning grey lol.

  12. November 16, 2017 / 3:48 pm

    Someone contacted a few months ago because I kept writing about midlife crisis stuff. I think I’m going through so many stages that I’m now really starting to question everything about life. When you talk about embracing our stretch marks, I feel like we’re on the same page. I think every experience I’ve had, good or bad, was meant to happen. It led me to exactly where I am now and although there were times when I truly hated my life, I feel like it was all a part of my growth. We are all in this life for a purpose and it’s amazing!

    • November 17, 2017 / 8:28 pm

      Absolutely Karlyn! The bad stuff happens for a reason even if it takes years, decades to understand the WHY. I think we get stuck on the WHY trying to force it rather than allowing it to manifest itself.

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