This Having recently turned 48 I decided to write an article to share some things I have learned in my time on planet earth.
Often I blog about the things I have learned so throughout my list you will find links to previous articles that relate to the lesson listed.
1. Never judge others –
I am not perfect and it is easy to jump to conclusions about others. What I have learned however is there is always more to uncover about a person or situation. Many of us have learned behaviors, thoughts, and ideas from our own upbringing and experiences. People will surprise you in the most unexpected ways.
2. Be patient –
Patience is not something I was always good at. In fact, being impatient was more my style for the first three decades of my life! I have only recently become good at patience. I have learned however, that patience can really pay off!
3. Everything happens for a reason –
I have been a firm believer in this for as long as I can remember. It comes largely from my spiritual nature and background in life coaching and my spiritual work. Even when something terrible, horrific, disastrous happens, time will prove there was something of value in it for yourself, or for others.
4. Everyone looks better when they smile –
It’s true! Need proof? A smile is our best fashion accessory by far! A smile makes us more approachable, and prettier, even if your smile is not “perfect”.
5. A change in hair color can change your whole attitude –
Sometimes our hair color changes naturally, other times we elect to change it. What I have learned is that when I have red hair I feel bolder. I also enjoyed being a blond (by nature) and yes blonds do have fun, but I can’t say they have more fun. It all depends on what fun means to you! More here.
6. One cup of coffee IS enough –
I know, please don’t hate me! I love coffee and I am selective about my coffee too. I just have learned to pace myself and not overdo it as I get older. All things in moderation as they say. Now if only I can learn to have just one glass of wine!
7. Compassion matters –
Being a compassionate person is something I was born with thankfully. Sometimes it only takes one small thing to make or break another person. Being compassionate even in a small degree can make all the difference in someone’s life. Please see more.
8. We are all equals –
Women, men, black, white, red, to me we are all deserving of equal treatment and should not be cast aside because we believe something different than others. I have nothing against those who believe in this religion or that. I do not judge if you are a transgender. Personally, if you are a kind person that is all that matters to me! We should all love one another as brothers and sister. We are all after all connected!
9. Spending time alone is so valuable –
I was not always the type of person who liked to be alone. Sometimes the situation has to be forced upon us to see value in it. I learned so much about myself and my ability to do great things when I was on my own for the first time. Being on your own and really being in a place where you rely on only yourself for choices, and decisions can teach you a lot and give you a lot of freedom.
10. You never know what will happen –
Even if you are careful to make the best plans, with the best intentions, you are not totally in control of an outcome. There will always be the free will of others. Other entities in play, other influences. You can be the best daughter, sister, or mother, and things simply do not always work out the way you would hope. This is not only enlightening but it makes us realize just how fragile we are as humans. This also teaches us to grow within our human condition.
11. There is always time for romance –
As we hustle through our busy day to day lives it is so important to steal a moment here and there to spend romantic time with the one we love. We need not have a lot of spending cash or a lot of time. There is always something unusual, unique and interesting to do with the one you love.
12. Being a woman ROCKS –
Being a woman in this day and age is awesome! We have so much opportunity that our predecessors did not! Yes, there is still room for improvement and I feel our generation and the next will continue the changes our previous generations started! The key is learning how to use our power and not abuse it!
13. Having a pet in your life makes you so very happy –
I can’t remember a time I did not have a pet in my life. Animals to me are part of the universe’s best creations. I love all animals, even insects. I am one of those people who worry about stepping on ants! To me, life would be very lonely without a furbaby in my home. Animals are proven to have positive mental and emotional effects on us.
14. Nature is a wonderful healer –
From using essential oils to eating healthy foods nature gives us everything we need to live healthy lives. In addition just spending time outside can be healing! There is nothing better than a little vitamin D from the sun ( with some sunscreen applied of course! ) or getting some fresh country air! For me, sitting on the ground under a big tree is not only relaxing but helps me ground my energy and align myself in a calm and reflective manner.
15. Kindness can come from the most unexpected places –
I try to be a kind person but there is nothing more humbling when someone shows you kindness. Especially when you are in the midst of performing a kind act for others! Even more so when the kindness comes from a stranger in an unexpected way!
16. Not all men are pigs –
Women have used the saying “men are pigs” for as long as I can remember. It’s an unfair generalization. Women do not like to be generalized so we should stop doing it to the male species. This statement is an outdated stigma that we need to end.
17. We should always give back –
Giving back to others is good karma and just the right thing to do. My family has always been frugal, and I grew up poor. I value things even if I no longer need them I know that someone would find them to be the holy grail! For this reason, I always donate my unused items. Through volunteering, donating items or cash we should always seek out ways in which we can help others.
18. Working from home isn’t as glamorous as it sounds –
Okay maybe I never thought working from home would be “glamorous” but I sure thought it would be easier! I have learned that working from home can be a real challenge and it takes guts to be your own boss!
19. Finding Balance is an art form –
Balance is essential to our lives but discovering how to obtain it can be exhausting in itself! Our lives are not just narrowed to work and life because life is everything, every moment of every day! Including work! I find it much easier to obtain balance by looking at it from a two-part perspective: Emotional and Mental.
20. There are many things to be learned from dogs –
Being an animal lover dogs have taught me so many things through my life! Seriously if you think about it, they teach us loyalty, devotion, how to be happy with small things, and so much more. Some of the best lessons in life can be learned from your pooch!
21. Some days less is more –
It is perfectly okay not to get everything done every day! This is a lesson that I learned after having children. I used to be fine having many lazy days in a row as a teen and young adult. Once I had kids I felt as if I had to go go go and never rest! It was when my kids were much older that I realized it is perfectly okay to take some down time for myself.
22. Personal style is important to our kids –
Being a work at home, stay at home, homeschooling mom for so long got me off my game. I was letting myself go and never considered that it could be affecting my kids! Style is important, not just your clothing but just how you present yourself overall.
23. It is totally acceptable to have a healthy ego –
There is a big difference between being an egomaniac and having a healthy ego. I have learned having a healthy ego is perfectly okay! I am not talking about walking around looking in every mirror you see saying to yourself “hey gorgeous” but having the type of ego where you believe in yourself, know you can accomplish what you set out to do in life – that is necessary!
24. We all need a tribe –
Although I do believe we are one big family, all somehow connected, there is a need for a smaller unit for us to thrive as individuals. Whether you belong to a book club, self-help group, or a volunteering network, we all need a place where we feel happy and secure.
25. We must all recycle –
If there is one thing we can all do to help save our planet it is recycling! Most communities have curbside recycling programs. Others have drop off locations. Now I realize not everyone has the physical ability to do their part. Some have friends or family help them. Recycling is one of the most powerful things we can do to improve the quality of our earth.
26. There is nothing better than a great night’s sleep –
If I could go back I would not have allowed myself to put off investing in great quality mattresses as long as I did! I know we have things we have to spend money on, bills have to be paid, and food has to be in the refrigerator. I do know however had I cut back on makeup, clothing, and hair products for six months I could have easily had a better mattress faster! These days you can find high-quality mattresses at a fraction of what I paid for mine! They are so worth it!
27. Take good care of your heart –
There are so many easy things we can do to assure good heart health. I never thought about this until I was in my forties! Being informed early on about heart health is important! The more informed we are the more empowered we are. I would have been more sparing with my use of salt for sure had I only known when I was younger.
28. There is much to be learned from cats –
Dogs do not get all the credit for teaching me valuable lessons in my forty-eight years of life. Cats get some kudos too. I think some of the things I have learned from cats are more self-involved but that isn’t a bad thing at all.
29. Hydrate and moisturize –
It did not take me too far into life to realize the value of good hydration as I spent a lot of time participating in sports so I learned this early on. I am lucky because hydration is key for life, and healthy skin too! Speaking of skin, moisturizing is the number one thing I would tell any young lady to do to stay looking young. She may not care too much to hear about it in her 20’s but as soon as she hits 30, she will be happy to have listened.
30. Always be prepared –
I give credit to my mother for making sure I knew how to always be prepared. Sure I poked fun at her for having a worst case scenario attitude but the important parts of her worries caught on. I have always been ready for anything from a tire blow out to a zombie apocalypse.
31. Never forget your mammogram –
Ladies if there is one health issue that is key please get your mammogram done. I know it is not fun, or pleasant. The discomfort is worth it though for peace of mind or catching a problem in time to do something about it. Breast cancer runs in my family so I get a mammogram every year. Every three years is usually good enough for those age forty and up.
32. Detecting lies is not that complicated –
Through my other line of work, I have learned how to tell when someone is lying. Anyone can do this, it takes no special skills. Just the ability to listen, and observe. Check out the link above to learn how to do it! It can be fun, interesting, and sometimes alarming!
33. Fashion can help your mental and emotional well-being –
While I still allow myself to enjoy a day here and there working from home in my PJ’s I find I am far more productive and motivated when I get dressed. Putting on a nice outfit, accessorizing, and looking good make you feel more successful. When you feel successful you will be more successful. Getting out of the house looking on point is even more helpful to your productivity.
34. Take a deep cleansing breath and exhale –
We are all running around like chickens with our heads cut off – as my grandmother would say. We need to learn how to unwind, let our hair down, and chill! Sure a good
glass bottle of wine can help but there are healthier options to help us decompress. Healthier options are what we should truly aim for.
35. You can always date your spouse –
Keeping the love alive can become more challenges as you move into the parenthood years. Then on to the empty nester years, we can forget how to enjoy each other on a personal level. It is important to remember, or re-learn, how to date your spouse.
36. Be a positive person –
Wherever you go, whoever you engage with, do your best to share positive thoughts. Try to help others learn and grow through your own experiences. Share knowledge, listen, and welcome the ideas, feelings, and thoughts of others. You will not always strike a chord with everyone but through helping others you will find you receive as much as you give out.
37. Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be like –
Finding like-minded people is a great thing but more important is to be around people who you see value in. Not value as what you can get from them, but what you can learn from them. How you can prosper emotionally, and mentally. People who can help you become a more engaged person, a better person, encourage your values. People who you can also share your thoughts, feelings, and values with. People who will help you reach your best place in life.
38. It is okay to let go –
As a midlife woman, I have learned that at times we have to let go. In some cases, we saw goodbye to those we have loved that have passed. Other times it is the ending of a relationship. Sometimes it is a new beginning for your child, but an end to them being in the nest. By the time you hit your mid to late forties, you have experienced most all of these scenarios. It is okay to let go.
39. Take pleasure in the little things –
Stay humble and remember while big trips are nice, going on a cruise, or that dream vacation, the real life joys are in the daily things. Remember that there is joy all around us. Don’t let those little things go overlooked. No matter your lifestyle, if you live in the city in a tiny apartment or a big home in the country, life’s joys happen every day, we just need to appreciate them.
40. Don’t be afraid to act half your age –
I have never felt “my age”. When I was 18 I felt 12, when I was 35 I felt 20. No matter your age it is okay to get silly! Your kids will remind you of this time and again. Once the kids are grown however you can easily slip into old age syndrome. That is why I love it when my kids visit and get goofy. I join right in!
41. A good nail polish can really come to the rescue –
Nail polish can be used for more than just making your nails look pretty! Many women know that you can stop a run in pantyhose with them but did you know you can do home repairs with nail polish too! I have learned that nail polish can be quite impressive!
42. Have all the essentials –
After four decades on this earth, I have finally decoded exactly what is needed on a minimalistic scale. In the bathroom anyway. Of course, we need toilet paper, and well who wants to go without our makeup but there are other “must have” items that are important.
43. As mother always said … always take your vitamins –
No matter how healthy you think you eat, even if you are making sure to eat all the colors of the food pyramid every day, you always can benefit from vitamins. I take mine daily and recommend everyone in my family do the same. I believe I eat very healthy but I still lack vital nutrients that I can only get through daily vitamins.
44. Don’t be a night driving Nancy –
I would never have known about this if it were not for being a type 1 diabetic. Eye problems are something I am tested for every year. When you get into your forties night driving can be a challenge, sometimes scary. I am glad to know there are ways to help my eye health.
45. Go on an adventure –
We are never too old to be adventurous! I love the idea of finding hidden treasure. There is something exciting and even romantic about it. I may not be sailing the seas as a pirate looking for booty but I can pretend and sort of feel like one. It is such a fun thing to do with your family. Looking for treasure can be a good workout too!
46. Understand what really matters –
Speaking of treasure, of all my precious things, what really matters is what is left for you when a loved one passes. It’s not about a big inheritance, money, or a beautiful house. Not about precious gems or jewels. To me, it is what mattered most to them.
47. There is no place like home –
I have not traveled a lot but I have traveled enough to know there is no place like home. Yes, there is irony there since my home is Kansas. When I was young I wanted to travel the globe. I wanted to visit every state in the USA, visit far off places. While I would not turn down the chance to travel I know that I would always want to live right where I am.
48. Just be happy –
Most of all, the most important lesson I have learned in my forty-eight years of life is to just be happy. I know it is not always as simple as it sounds. So many suffer depression, anxiety, and other conditions. Even I struggle daily with health issues and chronic pain. Yet, every day, I force myself if necessary to find that one thing I can be happy about.