Hello! It's time for another #BehindTheBlogger writing prompt.
Today's #BehindTheBlogger writing prompt and link up topic is "The Things I Should Have Said" Please check out my previous #BehindTheBlogger articles which will be linked at the bottom of this post as well. Also please note the link up at the bottom of this article. Other wonderful bloggers share their articles from this week's prompt as well. If you are a blogger and would like to join us please do! There will be a link for you to click on to join us below this article right above the link up list.
Each of us who are part of the #BehindTheBlogger group can write whatever comes to mind in regard to the prompt. Sometimes funny, usually introspective, other times enlightening, we all reveal a part of ourselves in these posts. I hope you are enjoying them and please leave a comment.
With this prompt I really had to stop and think about things I wish I had said in the past. Honestly, I am a fairly open person, sometimes, especially in my past a tad brazen with my point of view. I do not think anyone has ever accused me of filtering my thoughts. Sure I have those occasional moments where I think of something I could have said, but not so much things I should have said. You know, like a great comeback to someone else's wise ass remark for example. When it comes to having regrets for not saying something in particular, I really can not think of anything.
Perhaps there were times I could have said I am sorry sooner, or I love you more often, but I think all things come in due time, and saying things we are not emotionally ready to say is meaningless.
I can think of countless things I could have said to my kids as they were growing up that may or may not have changed them, helped them, or molded them in one direction or another. Then on the flip side of that not saying too much can also provide a wider breadth for their own growth as well. Sometimes as parents we may say too much which can shelter, or even stunt their own self discovery and development.
Sure there were times when I was young that I could have said to some guy coming on too strong to me to back off, or stood up for myself to a boy teasing me, or the class bully who was tormenting me, but back then I was just a kid myself! I had not learned enough social skills to know how to say such things, so does that mean I should have said something? I do not think so because those experiences made me who I am today, and I like who I have become.
In the times that really mattered I did have my say. In the areas I felt holding back the words would hurt me, or someone I cared about, I always spoke up. I always said what needed to be said even if in doing so I lost a friend.
This reminds me of a time in my teen years when a very close friend of mine was being sexually abused by her father. She begged me and our other close friend not to say anything. Well, I did say something, and reported this to our school counselor. She hated me for years after. In fact we never really spoke again until when in my 20's I ran into her at a bar. While she did not say sorry for hating me for years, and did not directly make amends with me, there was a look in her eyes, a look that let me know I had done the right thing. I think it is very difficult for people to bring up such pains, old wounds. I did not expect our brief encounter to become a sit down about the past, however her kindness in the short time we said hello, and did our "how have you been" talk, I could tell she was over what I had said and done.
We can all benefit from the advice of making amends with family and friends we have issues with. We can all benefit from the advice of telling those we care about how we feel, or telling our family we love them more often. These things are rudimentary, and we should all hold them as truths. Of course we all think of that great come back, or idea after we have moved on with our day. It is when those light bulbs go off and we think of something excellent and we shoot off a text to continue the conversation with that person.
What really matters though is not in those rudimentary things that should be easy for each of us, but the things that can shape, or change a person who is in need. I am not trying to minimize telling someone you love them! No one wants regret of not telling someone how much we love them.
What I am talking about is stepping in and saying what needs to be said wether it is standing up and advocating for a child in need, an animal being mistreated, or a loved one who is on the wrong track, even if they refuse to listen. Words are like seeds that may take years to sprout and bloom, but they do eventually, and can make a world of difference later on, so be sure your words are coming from a place of love, kindness, and advocacy.
It is a freeing feeling to know that when you had a chance to say something you did. It feels good to know that even if you failed to gain popularity in the moment that you helped someone break through hard times and find healing. Sometimes we never know the outcome of our words, or actions, but by saying something you have done your part in the human connection. You have done your best to foster growth, and healing in others. A large part of our own development, and healing comes from that!