This weeks prompt is “If Only I Had Listened”. These prompts are most always challenging. As I sat and tried to think of one very important lesson, or message someone once told me, that I did not listen to, that perhaps changed the course of my life for the worse. As I tried to reflect on something I wish I had listened to, I realized two things, 1. I could not think of anything obvious, I am getting older and memories of such things do tend to fade, and 2. had I ever been given some amazing advice, and had I listened, my life may not be what it is right now, what it is today, with what I have learned even if be it the hard way.
I think that seems to be the outcome of a lot of my #BehindTheBlogger articles. That I do not have regrets, that I would not change anything, even if I could, because of the fear of what else would change along the way. You know, like the butterfly effect. If you change one small detail of one’s life, everything else can change entirely!
Now I am not saying I was never given good solid advice, that I took. I am sure that I have been, and I am sure I have been given good solid advice that I did not take as well. And I am fine with both, because any success in listening, any failure in listening, has brought me to where I am today.
What if I had listened to something in the past that I did not, well, who knows!? Who knows if I would have the two wonderful children I do today, with their own happiness, and struggles. Maybe I would not live where I live. Maybe a lot of things. As I reflect upon my life, thus far, I am pretty happy with where I am, and what I have. I am a work in process, as we all are. I am reaching for goals, I am striving for new levels of self, and I am working out my own personal kinks.
To me, perhaps it is more important not to listen at times! Not to listen to negative messages, not to listen to cynicism of others, not to listen to the naysayers. Perhaps listening to our own inner voice is what matters most! I can think of a lot of times that I should have listened to myself. No I am not saying I am the end all be all of supreme knowledge, but I do know that at the end of the day we have to live with our own choices more closely than choices we allow others to make for us. Allowing others to make choices for us is a weakness, but not listing to our own gut instincts, that is really letting ourselves down! Not listening to others, and going with what feels right to us in the moment, even if and when doing so ends up a mistake, at least gives us accountability for our own choices, words, and actions, and that is something I can live with far easier than looking back and thinking “wow I really did not take control, I was not empowered, I failed.”
So really, in the end result, by listening to bad advice, even if we fail to hear the good advice, when we do not follow our instincts, succeed or fail, we still have not taken accountability for self. When we fail, due to someone else’s bad advice, we have an “out” and often make excuses or blame the person we listened to. However, the fact is, it is our choice, our decision, and blaming someone else for bad advice, when we are the ones accountable for taking such advice or not, reflects back on us. On the flip side, when we succeed due to someone’s good advice, is it truly then our own personal success? Granted we may have had to do the work involved, see something through, but if we would have otherwise not taken such action, then truly who is responsible for our so called “win”?
I feel in life it all comes down to balance. I am not saying we should never listen to advice from others. I am not suggesting people can not be helpful in our personal journeys, they can be, and often are. However make sure that whatever choice you make is true to yourself. Make sure that whatever decision, choice, or path you take, you take accountability for! Weigh all of your options, step back and give yourself time to choose a path. Never allow yourself to feel pressured, or bullied into making a decision that does not feel good inside. Be sure that when you step forward with your decision that you feel empowered and feel you can therefor be empowering to others.
So “If Only I had Listened” … In my past, if I had listened to my own inner voice earlier on in life, or more frequently, I would have been more secure in myself. I would have felt more empowered, I would have been more empowering to others at an earlier age. If only I had listened to my gut instinct, earlier on in life, I may not have had as many fears, or doubts, I may have stepped forward into life with more courage, more bravado, and more charisma! If only I had listened to my intuition more readily, I may have felt less judged, I may have been more outgoing, I may have connected to others more in conversation, and emotionally. I may have had less self doubt.
There is nothing more confusing than having people throw words at you, even if in kindness, spewing their opinions, ideas, thoughts, suggestions, etc because the fact is, people love to speak their mind, and I love hearing what is on other people’s minds, however … if you take the word of others too close to heart, you end up living their lives, working through their regrets, and failures, trying to make up for their inadequacies!
Be true to yourself, mistakes, success, failures, accomplishments, and all, and know, deep down, that you did it your way, and that you can claim all the glory, and yes sometimes the failures as well. Remember there is no such thing as failure unless you give up! Each time we make a “mistake”, make a “wrong” choice, we learn, so as long as you have learned from your path, you have not failed!
If I am going to be guilty of anything in this lifetime – it will be failing to fail!
Keep on plugging away friends! You will get to where you want to be!
Please check out the other bloggers posts in the link up below.
Thank you for reading a story from #BehindTheBlogger Hop. Every 2 weeks a group of bloggers is given a writing prompt. These prompts are very open ended, so our bloggers can write about whatever they desire. The main rule is that their blog post directly relates to the topic of that week. The point of this hop is for our readers to get to know us on a personal level.
Please hop along and read all of the blog posts in this weeks hop. Just click the links below. If you want real and raw emotion, then you will find it here. After you read each post, please comment and share. We want to get to know you too!